J.A.W. McCarthy on “The Only Thing Different Will Be the Body”
J.A.W. McCarthy discusses an amazing story, why she writes, and what she has coming out soon.
“The wing withered to nothing more than a slab of jerky on bone, much like my great-grandfather’s earthly form in the ground. His sons and grandsons waited for him to return, but the babies born into our family never landed bruised and ready to claim their glory. Generations of men rubbed that desiccated bit of angel flesh against their lips, eyes wet and feverish with prayer. They took their shirts off in front of mirrors and made their wives feel for stray nubs of bone sprung from their shoulder blades every night before bed. The women sighed and kept their secrets.
After the expectations dwindled, half of my family became even more fervently religious, sure that the angel would grace us with his presence again if we could just be more patient, if we could just believe. The other half—the women—swore my great-grandfather was proof there is no God, and never set foot in a church again.”
—from “The Only Thing Different Will Be the Body” by J.A.W. McCarthy
I had the opportunity to read this story early and was so happy to see it on the Stoker Preliminary Ballot and getting a lot of love from readers. I sat down with J.A.W. (over email, like you do) and asked a few questions:
Writers are often interested in other writers’ processes, so I was curious: What was the first step; or the first inkling of “The Only Thing Different Will Be the Body,” and how did the story develop and proceed from there?
It was inspired by a single scene in John Carpenter’s Masters of Horror episode, “Cigarette Burns”. After hearing about it for years, I finally saw that episode and was struck by an early scene where Kirby goes to Bellinger’s house and sees the angel wings on display. My first thought was how bad do those things smell? They looked ratty, not at all majestic like angels are usually portrayed. I started thinking about what preserved angel wings would smell and taste like. Who would sever and keep angel wings, and why? Then my character and her motivation were born.
I sometimes think of my various stories falling into groups because they have shared themes or were written during a time I was mulling over a certain experience. I think this phenomenon is more commonly understood in the visual arts, where we have, for example, Picasso and his Blue Period. Does “The Only Thing Different Will Be the Body” connect with any particular stories of yours, or does it come out of a particular time period when you were writing a certain kind of story?
I’d say “The Only Thing Different Will Be the Body” is a bit different from most of my other work, enough that it’s its own period. It’s not sad. My protagonist is not struggling. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: she is confident, focussed, on a mission. She doesn’t suffer from delusion; she’s here to end a collective delusion. I’m proud of this one because it’s fiercely feminist and I got to say what I wanted in a way that I think really works with this character and story.
Why do you write?
Honestly, as difficult as it is, I love it. Writing was my first love. I got more into visual art in high school and gave up writing by college, choosing to focus on art instead. By the end of art school, I had lost a lot of the passion that lead me there. Then, years later, I got an idea for a story (for the first time in a long time) and decided to give it a go. With that story the passion came racing back, and I realized that I should never have given it up. I’m an okay visual artist, but writing is the thing I’m good at, the thing I want to keep getting better at.
What have you learned about yourself through writing?
A lot. I’m not entirely joking when I say that I’ve realized I have a lot of unresolved trauma that has come out in my work. Writing may not be the healthiest way to deal with it, but working through it on the page has helped me grow as a person.
What are you proudest of so far?
Coming back to writing. Not letting time and distance stop me.
If you could go back and change anything about your writing experience so far, what would it be?
Though I’m still trying to shake that pesky imposter syndrome, I would’ve approached my work with a lot more confidence in myself. Back when I first started writing again, I was just happy to see my work in print. I didn’t recognize some red flags. I let a lot of things go. I got ripped off a couple of times. Now I’m much more confident in advocating for myself and my worth. Recognizing I still have a lot to learn is important, but I also wish I could go back in time and show myself that my work deserved more than what I sometimes settled for.
Where can readers go to read this piece, and where should they go to find more of your work?
“The Only Thing Different Will Be the Body” originally appeared in the anthology A Woman Built By Man (ed. by S.H. Cooper & Elle Turpitt, published by Cemetery Gates Media). It was then produced in audio by PseudoPod. You can listen to the excellent production and/or read it here.
My queer succubi sex, drugs, and rock & roll novella SLEEP ALONE will be released by Off Limits Press on March 18, 2023. You can find out more here.
"A sensual, synesthetic tour through the dive bars of the Pacific Northwest with a most unusual band, SLEEP ALONE grapples with ethical questions about responsibility and care even as it revels in sex, drugs, and body horror. I couldn't look away."
--Christi Nogle, author of BEULAH
My Shirley Jackson Award nominated debut short fiction collection SOMETIMES
WE’RE CRUEL AND OTHER STORIES was released by Cemetery Gates Media
in 2021.
I also have several short stories scheduled for publication this year in Mooncalves (NO Press), The Canterbury Nightmares (Crossroad Press), Monstrous Futures (Dark Matter), and a couple of others I can’t mention yet. My first nonfiction piece is in Unquiet Spirits: Essays by Asian Women in Horror (Black Spot Books).
You can also find out more of what I’m up to at https://www.jawmccarthy.com/ and on Twitter @JAWMcCarthy.
Thank you so much for your time, J.A.W., and I hope readers will pick up all of these publications. Your stories are phenomenal!
And as always in Noglesque, news of Christi’s latest goings-on:
My novel Beulah and the anthology I co-edited with Willow Dawn Becker, Mother: Tales of Love and Terror are both on the Stoker Preliminary Ballot. If you are a voting member who has not yet received a copy, please reach out on Twitter, Instagram, or http://christinogle/contact/
My first short story collection The Best of Our Past, the Worst of Our Future will be widely available on February 21. In the meantime, I have a few copies to sell signed, reservation form here.
Collage Macabre, an anthology put together with friends in The Future Dead Collective, is on preorder today. Yes, I put the cover together, but really it was a group effort with contributors providing pictures to me and chiming in about how they wanted it all to look. Every image in the cover collage represents one of the stories in the anthology.
Thank you for reading Noglesque!